On Writing Guns: Will a Conveniently Placed Item Stop a Bullet?

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In a classic episode of The Simpsons, Ned Flanders takes two bullets to the chest. The pious neighbor walks away unscathed, all thanks to a Bible and a piece of wood from the ol’ rugged cross under his shirt.

Although the show is meant to be satirical, it’s a scene played out with a straight face in the rest of fiction, most notably the crime genre. A character is seemingly shot to death, only to stand back up thanks to a convenient object beneath the clothing that “stopped the bullet.”

So how close is this to reality? Is it possible for this to happen? Continue reading →

The Invisible Hand – A North Dakota Oil Boom Crime Novel

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Kindle-Scout-Novel-Invisible-HandIt’s been quite the ride for The Invisible Hand, my crime novel set in the North Dakota oil boom, but I finally have some good news. I just dropped a publishing contract with New Pulp Press into the mail. The Invisible Hand should release some time in late 2015, although that’s not set in stone.

New Pulp Press is an incredible indie outfit publishing some of the best crime fiction today. Hell, it even publishes Les Edgerton’s The Bitch, one of my all-time favorite novels, among others. For me, it’s a best-case scenario. Continue reading →

Maynard Soloman, Gal-Damn Detective

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8 Funny Detective Stories with Maynard Soloman, Gal-Damn Detective

Since launching with the first short story, Maynard Soloman Solves the War on Drugs, Maynard Soloman, gal-damn detective, has become somewhat of a cult hero. Or a folk hero. Or maybe just confused.

Using his vocabulary of insults from bygone days and a decaying RV, the old-timey Maynard Soloman made good on his promise to fix the problems of the modern world one case at a time. Or at least cuss at them until they went away.

8 Funny Detective Stories represents his first eight cases of mystery, malarkey and misadventure. Each combines the slapstick fun of The Pink Panther with the sharp wit of The Onion, if both lived in an RV watching nothing but old Westerns. Fans of Carl Hiaasen’s crime fiction humor, Elmore Leonard’s bumbling bad guys or snappy current events satire will enjoy these quick reads.

Despite being older than dirt, the Ol’ Badger is just getting started – so long as the piss and vinegar don’t run out. Here are the short stories and bonus features you’ll find in this keen collection.

Short Stories:
1. Maynard Soloman Solves the War on Drugs
2. Maynard Soloman Fixes Social Security and Eats a Pony
3. Maynard Soloman and the Job-Nabbin’ Illegal Immigrants
4. Maynard Soloman Proves Santa Claus is Real
5. Maynard Soloman Legalizes Gay Knot Tying
6. Maynard Soloman Takes the Bus to a Strip Club
7. Maynard Soloman & the Bull$hit Cancer Awareness Campaign
8. Maynard Soloman vs. The Kidney Thieves

Bonus Features:
How to Cuss Like Maynard Soloman
Maynard Soloman’s Two-Beer Critter Marinade
Maynard Soloman’s Guide to Milk and Cookies
10 Signs Your Kid is in a Cult
Maynard’s Guide to Tipping
Maynard’s Guide to Charitable Giving
Dr. Maynard’s Guide to Kidney Transplants Continue reading →

Anthologies

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I’m happy to have short stories in these excellent anthologies. Check ’em out!

Crime

51kfT0eshgL._BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-sticker-v3-big,TopRight,0,-55_SX278_SY278_PIkin4,BottomRight,1,22_AA300_SH20_OU01_Black Heart Magazine presents Noir, edited by Jimmy Callaway

Burning Bridges: A Renegade Fiction Anthology, edited by McDroll, Heath Lowrance and myself

The Neon Moon: A Roman Dalton Anthology, edited by Paul D. Brazill (starring a werewolf detective)

Exiles: An Outsider Anthology, edited by Paul D. Brazill (also in print here) Continue reading →

Free E-Books

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Maynard Soloman New War on Drugs Small 3 for webMaynard Soloman Solves the War on Drugs FREE RIGHT NOW – ALL E-Book Formats Supported

“Maynard is the philosopher-cum-man-of-action that we all wish we could be, the detective who solves mysteries by turning idiocy against itself.” – Peter Rozovsky, Detectives Beyond Borders (Spinetingler Award winner)

“I recommend to everyone who is looking for a quick read. It’s perfect for that pick me up laugh, that bathroom read, that afternoon escape.” – Molly Edwards, Reviews by Molly

“Oh my goodness! I’m not sure when I’ve laughed so hard. It was like having a conversation with the man from the ‘Grumpy Old Men’ movie! So much fun!” – Gina Hott, Hott Books Continue reading →